Calculate how many dead dialogs you have in the Tinder. Then calculate the number of unsuccessful dates that ended up ignoring your conversation partner or adding to the blacklist. They are almost a waste of time and emotional resources. But it could have been different. Most unsuitable partners can be sifted out even before the dialogue and the first meeting. Let’s analyze the most common markers of what you and your interlocutor are not on the way.
2. Requirements for an affiliate
In the questionnaire, a person writes not about himself, but about the desired partner. What kind of height, weight, hobbies he should have. Yes, sometimes it is listed in the same way. But often the requirements are disguised as more harmless formulations: “My height is 192, take it into account”, “We will go to the gym together”.
We are all looking for the ideal person. Someone who will meet our requirements. This is absolutely normal. But, as the folk wisdom says, you demand – meet the requirements.
For such people, there is nothing but themselves. In their questionnaires there are continuous lists of achievements (sometimes artificially exaggerated) and raising yourself to the rank of an ideal partner. “The owner of the startup, bought an apartment without a mortgage at 23, will be the best father to your children – my dogs will confirm”.
Congratulations, you have a narcissus in front of you. Such people are also demanding, only this trait is revealed at the communication stage. They need admiration and get it by all available means. The most common is the already mentioned protrusion of their merits and humiliation of others, including the partner.
3. Self-mobility .
A person deliberately criticizes and humiliates himself in the questionnaire in order to seem poor and miserable. What it looks like: “I am the most ordinary and unassuming”, “Private office plankton”, “I wanted my business, a yacht and a house on Lake Como by 25, and finally in the evenings I drink beer at my parents’ house”. Probably, there are few photos in such profiles and it is difficult to determine what a user looks like.
There are two scenarios. The first is that a person may be a hidden narcissist. This type of person also has an acute need for recognition and admiration, but they achieve this in the opposite way. They do not talk about their achievements, but, on the contrary, underestimate them.